What not to Write for your Cover Letter
I am writing a general cover letter for a Graduate Position, within Student Development at ASU. I asked one of my co-workers to help me out and this is what I got:
I am Tiffany and I am awesome. Despite my tendencies to go out and party all the time, the lunch-time happy hours, and my insatiable craving for cake, I stand alone and above all when it comes to my ability to work as a Residence Director. I am truly awesome. I am. In fact, I am so awesome, I was widely recognized aboard the ECU campus as an outstanding RA, with a special mention for being able to sustain heavy hours of partying and a 4.0 GPA all at the same time (GPA adjusted for alcohol tolerance level). If you consider someone else for the position, I know for a fact that you will be disappointed, because they will not be as cool as me. I’m also cute (I get complimented all the time), and by a simple bat of my eyelashes can command whatever respect and adoration I need in order to get stuff done (YOU GET MY DRIFT?) Anyway, I can also bring an awesome party time to APU, ASU, or whatever your school is. Believe you me, you WILL NOT regret having me at your school. If you call me within the next day or so, I’ll make sure you’re invited to MOST of my parties, which will of course be hosted on campus. I am attaching a picture of my cute self, for you to check out, and adore or frame or whatever you want to do with it. I expect a call soon. TTYL.
Not Planning on using this FYI! Picture submissions are welcome though.